Part 41: James
Sexy priests? So that was the sort of crap her and Victoria talked about? That was what made up a best friendship? It was just like him and Sean - what him and Sean had been - a friendship based more on gender than actual connection.
But then - Hannah had said “brb” to Victoria, not to him.
And he compared the timestamps - she had come back to talk to Victoria a whole time before she came back to him. She hadn’t responded to him until after the second altercation with her mom.
And she had used the word retarded, not just about a situation but about a person. Her mom and her mom’s boyfriend, of course, who deserved every insult in the book, surely, but didn’t she remember that she had said not to use the word like that?
Hannah always spelled it “okay” and Victoria kept saying “ok.” Would Victoria ever take the hint?
She had corrected Victoria’s use of the wrong your, though, he noticed with a smile. Even when everything was collapsing around her, she had taken the time to fight ignorance. To care about correctness.
What did she tell Victoria that she hadn’t told him? Nothing really. A few details, but nothing essential. Nothing Victoria needed to know about.
xx themachine: ok so yeah pretty much the same thing she told me.
xx themachine: so what should we do
victoriASS1992: idk what do you think
xx themachine: idk either
xx themachine: i mean its hannah
xx themachine: she knows how to deal w her mom
victoriASS1992: this happens all the time
xx themachine: i know
xx themachine: but this time sounded worse
xx themachine: she never had to get off the computer before
victoriASS1992: ik
victoriASS1992: so what should we do?
xx themachine: idk
victoriASS1992: do you have her house phone
xx themachine: no do you
victoriASS1992: no.....
xx themachine: okay victoria well thats SUPER helpful thank you
victoriASS1992: ok you don’t have to be mean
victoriASS1992: i know u dont like me
victoriASS1992: but this is about HANNAH
xx themachine: okay*
xx themachine: you*
victoriASS1992: w/e
xx themachine: whatever*
victoriASS1992: what about ur mom
xx themachine: susan? what about her
victoriASS1992: would she go pick up hannah
xx themachine: idk i havent asked?
xx themachine: but its probably not a good idea?
victoriASS1992: why not?
xx themachine: bc what if it makes things worse?
victoriASS1992: how???
xx themachine: you never know with drunk people
xx themachine: they aren’t thinking rationally
xx themachine: like what if she thought i was hannah’s bf
xx themachine: or something
victoriASS1992: lol hannah doesnt have a bf
xx themachine: well yeah obviously
xx themachine: but im saying like
xx themachine: what if her mom thought i was
xx themachine: and thought hannah was running away w me?
victoriASS1992: lol hannah wouldnt do that
xx themachine: i know
xx themachine: you’re not getting it
xx themachine: nevermind
xx themachine: why can’t you go get her
xx themachine: i thought you guys hung out all the time
victoriASS1992: we do but my moms sleeping
xx themachine: so wake her up???
xx themachine: this is IMPORTANT victoria
victoriASS1992: no i cant
victoriASS1992: you dont know my mom
xx themachine: and you don’t know mine either???
victoriASS1992:: ive met her she’s nice
xx themachine: yeah she’s NICE
xx themachine: that’s not the problem
xx themachine: but anyway who’s worse your mom or hannah’s
victoriASS1992: hannahs duh
themachine: so go wake up your mom!
victoriASS1992: i cant
xx themachine: you can. you just won’t
xx themachine: but whatever
xx themachine: should we call the police?
victoriASS1992: idk maybe
xx themachine: well there’s not a ton of time
xx themachine: if we’re gonna do it we should do it now
victoriASS1992: ok
xx themachine......
xx themachine......
xx themachine: so are you calling?
victoriASS1992: no i thought you were
xx themachine: no i can’t my mom would hear
xx themachine: you said yours was asleep
victoriASS1992: ya she is
xx themachine: so call???
victoriASS1992: idk how
victoriASS1992: whats the #
xx themachine: 911??!?!
victoriASS1992: isnt that only for emergencys?
xx themachine: this IS an emergency
victoriASS1992: really?
victoriASS1992: but like
victoriASS1992: cant you get in trouble if you call and its not a real emergency
xx themachine: OMG JUST CALL
victoriASS1992: ok ok ok
victoriASS1992: you dont need to yell at me
xx themachine: are you calling??
xx themachine: WAIT
xx themachine: STOP
xx themachine: DONT CALL
victoriASS1992: why not???
themachine: i just remembered
themachine: hannah doesnt have a dad
victoriASS1992: yeah he left when she was 2
xx themachine: i know
xx themachine: so like
xx themachine: if they arrest her mom
xx themachine: they’ll put her in foster care or something
victoriASS1992: foster care?
victoriASS1992: whats that?
victoriASS1992: like an orphanage?
xx themachine: lmao no
xx themachine: orphanages dont really exist anymore
xx themachine: foster care’s like
xx themachine: another family
xx themachine: that adopts you?
xx themachine: kinda?
xx themachine: temporarily
victoriASS1992: so my family could foster care hannah?
xx themachine: no it doesn’t work like that
xx themachine: they just pick randomly
xx themachine: so hannah could end up in like
xx themachine: california
victoriASS1992: omg no!
xx themachine: yeah so dont call
victoriASS1992: ok i wont
victoriASS1992: so what else can we do?
xx themachine: idk just wait i guess?
xx themachine: it’s hannah. she’ll figure something out
victoriASS1992: yeah ok
James typed “okay*” but didn’t hit send. Clearly it was hopeless.
They sat there in silence, together but drifting slowly apart by the minute. By this point, James’s family had all gone upstairs to bed, though they might not be asleep yet, which was why it hadn’t been a lie when he said his mom would hear if he called 911. There was nothing else for him and Victoria to talk about besides Hannah, and even if there was, talking or even thinking about anything else right now would have seemed . . . disrespectful?
CourtSport32 is online.
Ugh, Coutney Collins - she had better not message him again. If she did he would probably legitimately tell her to fuck off. He’d never even had the chance to tell Hannah about the conversation where she accused him of liking her for the millionth time. She was the worst: annoying, obnoxious, insufferable . . . and, he suddenly remembered (having exhausted his mental thesaurus) Hannah’s neighbor!
A plan presented itself. It wasn’t ideal, but he had to do something, and this seemed like the least horrendous option available to him. He would have Courtney Collins check on Hannah’s house for him. Just so he would know she was safe. Then he could tell Victoria, and they could bring their awkward experience of shared anxiety to a conclusion, and he could X out her chat window and sign off. And go to bed, because he was tired, but he couldn’t be so selfish as to go to bed when Hannah might still be in trouble.
The things I do for you, he monologued to Hannah, hovering his mouse over Courtney Collins’s screenname. First Victoria, now Courtney Collins.
themachine: hey courtney!
CourtSport32: hey james
themachine: whats up
CourtSport32: nm u?
themachine: actually i have a favor to ask you
CourtSport32: lol ok what is it
themachine: so you’re hannah’s neighbor right?
CourtSport32: ya why?
themachine: can you just like
themachine: look out your window
themachine: or maybe go out onto your lawn
themachine: and just see if you can see or hear anything from her house?
CourtSport32: lol r u that obsessed with her?
themachine: no courtney this is serious
themachine: her mom’s been drinking and she had to get offline real quick
themachine: and i just want to know if everything’s ok at her house
themachine: or if i should call the police
CourtSport32: omg omg ok
CourtSport32: i’ll brb
Coutsport32 is away.
Someone like Courtney Collins couldn’t leave her computer for ten seconds without putting up an away message. As if there were millions of people trying to talk to her. And of course she had to put something dramatic, but at least it was vague, a little discreet: omg cant believe this is really happening ... checking on sumthing brb. Of course, that was just so people would be curious, to make them ask what was going on. But nobody was online anyway.
She was gone for nearly five minutes, which was way longer than James needed her to be. He just wanted her to stick her head out the window, listen for screaming, breaking glass, that sort of thing.
CourtSport32 is back.
CourtSport32: ok so i couldn’t see anything
CourtSport32: but i think i heard hannahs mom
themachine: really? what was she saying?
CourtSport32: idk she was slurring her words
CourtSport32: she sounded REALLY drunk
themachine: okay but was she yelling?
themachine: or just talking?
CourtSport32: kinda yelling
themachine: like happy yelling?
themachine: or angry yelling?
CourtSport32: idk just yelling
themachine: courtney
themachine: are you being 100% honest to god serious right now?
themachine: did you really hear her yelling?
themachine: if you say yes i’m gonna call the police
CourtSport32: ok maybe not YELLING
CourtSport32: i did hear her though
CourtSport32: i swear
themachine: okay thanks courtney
CourtSport32: wait do u want me to go back out?
CourtSport32: i can try n hear what shes saying
themachine: no that’s okay
themachine: bye
CourtSport32: pce see u at school
xx themachine: yeah sure bye
Courtney was dramatic. Everything she said had to be knocked down a couple of notches to get to the truth. So James figured she hadn’t actually heard or seen anything; if she had, she would have exaggerated it, told him they were screaming at each other and throwing things and the house was in danger of burning down. He felt like he had gotten confirmation that Hannah was safe, which was all he wanted anyway. Now to tell Victoria and wrap up the night in a neat little knot.
Hannah would be back tomorrow and everything would go back to normal.